I don't know if I can say what is in my heart.
My mother and I never really got along as I was growing up, it was even worse when I was a teenager. I could hardly wait to leave home, which I did when I married my sweetheart my senior year in the
Manti Temple.
Several years ago I moved in with my parents to help take care of them and lasted 6 months. Mom was too mean and hard to be with and she treated my dad terrible. My dad had dementia and my mom took care of him for 39 years after his stroke when he was only 50. He has now been gone for 3 years.
Don't get me wrong I love my mother. She used to bake apple pies that she would take to the neighbors. She would go over to Smith's and get their old bananas and come home and make banana bread, mom is allergic to bananas, and take the bread to neighbors and family. She has a big heart and did a lot of things for people in the ward. She always was giving away her grapes, grape juice, grape jelly, apricots and etc.
This trip is different. I am seeing another side of my mother. She has been bedridden for about a year and a half, since my last visit. She has turned nice. I'm seeing her be happy when her daughters, granddaughters and nurses help her. She never complains, she eats everything put before her and is very gracious.
It is very hard to see my mom sleep a lot, wear diapers, slobber when she eats. She is happy, she appreciates each day as it passes. I find I love her more and more and as I write this there are many tears. I am going to miss her when Heavenly Father finally decides to take her home.
I have a firm testimony of the gospel, there is no sting in death because of my Savior. I know this.
This is a picture of My Mother the first day I was in Murray. My niece Connie is on the left and my granddaughter Halley is on the right.
Mom sitting at the table getting ready to eat a good healthy breakfast.