I don't know if I can say what is in my heart.
My mother and I never really got along as I was growing up, it was even worse when I was a teenager. I could hardly wait to leave home, which I did when I married my sweetheart my senior year in the Manti Temple.
Several years ago I moved in with my parents to help take care of them and lasted 6 months. Mom was too mean and hard to be with and she treated my dad terrible. My dad had dementia and my mom took care of him for 39 years after his stroke when he was only 50. He has now been gone for 3 years.
Don't get me wrong I love my mother. She used to bake apple pies that she would take to the neighbors. She would go over to Smith's and get their old bananas and come home and make banana bread, mom is allergic to bananas, and take the bread to neighbors and family. She has a big heart and did a lot of things for people in the ward. She always was giving away her grapes, grape juice, grape jelly, apricots and etc.
This trip is different. I am seeing another side of my mother. She has been bedridden for about a year and a half, since my last visit. She has turned nice. I'm seeing her be happy when her daughters, granddaughters and nurses help her. She never complains, she eats everything put before her and is very gracious.
It is very hard to see my mom sleep a lot, wear diapers, slobber when she eats. She is happy, she appreciates each day as it passes. I find I love her more and more and as I write this there are many tears. I am going to miss her when Heavenly Father finally decides to take her home.
I have a firm testimony of the gospel, there is no sting in death because of my Savior. I know this.
9 comments:
Lovely post Mom, and thanks for the honesty! Parents are always hardest on the ones they love aren't they? Although you've not been that way to me. The only hard year I think we had was when I was a senior in high school, and it was because I needed to fly the nest! I think I'm harder on you!!! Darn me! Glad you decided to stay an extra week with grandma. See ya next Wednesday . . . . or later if you decide!
That is so sweet. I have a similar rocky relationship, I hope I can learn to be as gracious and loving as you have been to your mother. I hope you can enjoy your stay, but know that our nursery missed you! See you soon! And prayers are with you!
I am glad you got to the place where you could feel that kind of love for your mom.
You are a wonderful example to me, thank you for sharing this.
maybe all mothers and daughters have a hard time together.
I'm so glad that you have been able to have this opportunity to see your mom again before the Lord takes her away. My mom and I went through a few hard years as well but I am glad that it is over. Moms are special. As are grandmas, I love you!
Oh, Cecilia. Thank you for sharing. I love that feelings can be made right. We miss you here. P.S. You can assume the role of Nursery leader now. :o)
Cecilia, thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I am glad you are able to have this time with your mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
What wonderful thoughts and very sincere feelings. You are a great daughter. I am so glad you have this chance as so many never get.
Thank you all for your comments. I can see I'm not alone. That is very comforting.
Cecilia I am so glad you have had the opportunity so see our mother in a different light. It has been a special privilege to be able to take care of our mother and to get to know her as the special person she really is. We have all had our ups and downs with her growing up and this has (hope fully) brought all of us as sisters and mother closer together. We all love her in our own special way and she knows it. I want you to know how much it as meant to me to have you here and to be my sounding board. I love you very much.
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